


The Choices We Can't Make (And Those We Can)

by Dellessa



Series: Expansion Draft Verse [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Siberia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-04 22:31:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11564661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dellessa/pseuds/Dellessa
Summary: The phone nearly fell out of Alexei’s numb fingers as he listened to George on the other end of the line. “They thought you might take the news from me best. I’m so sorry, Tater. I know how much the team means to you.”He had hoped that they would pass him over and pick up one of the other people on the list. He knew his hefty contract should have made him less desirable. Just one more year and he would have been about to hide behind his no trade clause. It took him several minutes to find his voice. “When they call me?” he croaked.





	The Choices We Can't Make (And Those We Can)

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:**
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> Characters/Pairings: Gen, or Tater/any  
> Prompt Details: Tater gets traded (or Expansion Drafted *cries*) and struggles with being away to the closest thing he has to a family in the U.S.  
> Additional Info: I see Tater as being extra attached to his friends on the Falcs, like a trade would be the hardest on him, and that would be interesting to explore. Maybe he's afraid they hate him or worse forget about him now that he's on a new team, maybe he's leaving a partner behind, meybe the new team just isn't as social and he's lonely.  
> Squicks: major character death, non con, incest  
> Maximum Rating: None

The phone nearly fell out of Alexei’s numb fingers as he listened to George on the other end of the line. “They thought you might take the news from me best. I’m so sorry, Tater. I know how much the team means to you.” 

He had hoped that they would pass him over and pick up one of the other people on the list. He knew his hefty contract should have made him less desirable. Just one more year and he would have been about to hide behind his no trade clause. It took him several minutes to find his voice. “When they call me?” he croaked.

“Soon. I think.” She took in a deep breath. “I’ve got to make another call.” 

“It’s Snowy, isn’t it?”

“You know I can’t tell you. But you aren't wrong. I’m sorry, Tater. I’m really sorry. I thought they would take Poots. He was willing to go. We offered them a second round pick on top, but they got it into their head.” 

“No.Is fine. I’m understand. Is fine George. You call Snowy, and then...then you tell him to call me, yes?”

“Sure, Tater. You take care. Get some sleep. The Racer’s management will probably call first thing in the morning and want you to fly out.” 

“Thanks, George. Glad it was you.” 

She hung up the phone, and Tater looked down at it for a long time, feeling numb. This was his home. These people were his family. He sat down on the couch and stared off into space. He had lost so much to be here. Sacrificed so much, and it was as if they were taking it all away. He had struggled his first year until Marty had noticed and took a lost kid under his wing. It was tempting to call him, but he knew it might wake up the kids. They were always light sleepers, and he knew Gabby was always short on sleep. 

Jack would probably call him first thing in the morning, worried over how he would take the news. He took the ‘A’ on his chest so seriously. 

Alexei made himself take a slow breath. In through his nose, out through his mouth. It made him dizzy with oxygen, but it also seemed to slow his racing heart. 

It was hardly a surprise when the phone rang half an hour later. “Tater.” Snowy’s voice cracked. He made a whining noise on the other end, which Alexei knew well enough to know that he was having issues with his English. It was something that so rarely happened. Snowy usually had a good grasp on it. Better than Alexei’s ninety percent of the time.

“Jakub? Kuba? Are you there?” 

“They are sending me away,” Snowy finally managed. “I can’t fucking do this.” 

“Can Kochanie. I be over there. Give me minute,” Alexei said. He threw on a sweatshirt, maneuvering awkwardly with his phone still clenched in his hand.

“You should pack. I should pack.” 

“Нет. I’m be there in few minutes. We pack in morning. Worry about it then,” Alexei said as he moved around the kitchen and tried to remember where he left his keys. He touched the counter, feeling ill. He loved his house here. Lots of good memories. Bitty had made jam in this kitchen, and pies. Lots of pies. Jack had sat at that stool, and joked with Marty just last Sunday. Alexei had babysat Thirdy’s kids the weekend before while their parents had gone out for their anniversary. George had come out to the team in this kitchen, and Alexei had kissed Jakub here for the first time. These people were not just hos co-workers. They were his family. 

“You sure, Lyoshenka?” 

“Да, mój drogi. I’m leaving now.” He grabbed the good vodka out of the freezer on the way out, and tucked it into the overnight bag that was sitting on his bed. It was a somber drive over to Jakub Snopek’s house. Snowy was sitting on the stoop, despite the cold. “Stupid. You make yourself sick. Inside. We get you warm.” 

Jakub shrugged and looked at him with red rimmed eyes. “This is all fucking stupid.” 

“I’m not disagree,” Alexei put his arm around Jakub. He loved the way he fit against him. About the perfect size. Not so short that Alexei had to crane his neck to kiss him, but not nearly as tall as Alexei either. “Stupidest. Fuck them. We go play in KHL.” 

“We aren’t going to play in the KHL. We’d both end up prosecuted for gay propaganda,” Jakub gave him a pointed look. It was true enough. Alexei had not been home since that law had been passed. “I’m not even sure you’re mama could bail us out of jail, Lyoshenka.” 

Alexei tugged him over to the couch. “What now?” 

“I’m not sure.” Snowy seemed to deflate, and let himself sink down into the cushions of the couch. “I never thought about it. I mean I thought it would be us playing together until we were ready to retire. It’s stupid. That never happens.” 

“Is good dream. Was.” He leaned heavily against Snowy. “What are we going to do?” 

“Probably tell the team in the morning, and fly out tomorrow night. Draft is Friday. They’ll probably want us there.” 

“Not what I’m mean,” Alexei said. He grabbed Jakub’s hand, threaded their fingers together. 

“Oh. We are doing that now? You are the worst, you know. I fucking hate talking about feelings, and you just fucking suck at it.” 

“I’m best at it,” Alexei said. He didn’t let go, if anything he held on more tightly. “But if you not want. I’m understand.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Jakub said, and Alexei really knew what he meant was ‘I love you’, ‘I’m scared.’ 

“Maybe we try?”

“Maybe,” Jakub said. His voice cracked again, and he scrubbed at his face with his sleeve. “Fuck. I can’t take this.” 

“Could be worse. You stay in area. See guys. They send me to god awful middle of country. Play Blackhawks all the time.” 

Snowy sniffed. “It’s not funny, Lyosha. We won’t ever see each other.” 

“Bye week. New Years, maybe. Play each other three times a year. All-Stars. All summer,” Alexei said. “We make it work. And you probably get really familiar with your own hand.” 

“I fucking hate you.” 

“Is funny, Skarbeńku. I love you very, very much.” 

“We don’t say shit like that,” Jakub said, but he didn’t pull away either. “Fuck, Tater. I fucking hate Baltimore. I don’t want to be an Osprey. What the actual fuck.” 

“Couldn’t even find Indianapolis on the map,” Alexei said. 

“Yeh, but the name has history, I guess. Fuck. This just fucking sucks.” He drooped more, and finally just left his dignity behind and climbed up into Alexei’s lap. “Maybe we should run away.” He his his face against Alexei’s neck.

“Away from the NHL? Maybe wrong direction.” Alexei rubbed his back in tiny little circles. 

“Maybe, but I fucking hate it right now.” 

“Is what it is,” Alexei said. He held on to Snowy until the goalie’s eyes were drooping, and he tried to fight off sleep. If he was smart he would have lead him upstairs to the bed. They fell asleep huddled together on the couch. 

Alexei awoke feeling hung over, despite not taking a sip of the vodka he brought, and with the worst stiff neck he’d had in his twenty-six years. He nudged Snowy wake, and blearily reached for his phone when it started ringing. 

“Привет!” 

“Mashkov. We’ve been trying to reach you all morning.” 

“This is---” 

“Gary Sibbet. Yes. I’m know who you are. You get me plane ticket? Is that what you call about.” 

“We already have talked to your agent. We have papers for you to sign.” 

Alexei turned enough so he could see the scowl sweep across Jakub’s face. “Yes. Fine. When I’m leave?” 

“We figured you would want to get your business in order. Sell your house and---.” 

“I’m not selling my home. I’m think you need to not worry about that. I will be there tomorrow.” 

“We were actually hoping you would come to Vegas for the draft ceremony,” Sibbet continued on obliviously. 

“Fine, whatever. I’m fly out with Snopek,” Alexei said. 

Sibbet sputtered, and Alexei hung up on him. 

“Get dressed, Jakub. Plane to catch. Stupid draft ceremony. Want pictures of our pretty faces.” 

“Oh, well in that case we might as well stay home, cause you might break their cameras,” Jakub said. He leaned in and stole a kiss. “I’ll race you to the shower.” He was up and racing down the hall before Alexei had a chance to even move.

_/ _X_ \\_

They head out to the airport later that night and end up in Las Vegas early in the morning. Jakub had slept the whole flight, his hand holding Alexei’s in a death grip under the covers they had draped over them

Alexei couldn’t sleep. He thought about starting all over, and about never seeing the guys. They would play them three times a year. They’d play the Ospreys the same. 

“You’re thinking so hard it hurts,” Snowy said. His voice was groggy, and rough. He let go of Alexei’s hand and stretched. 

“Not bothered?” 

“Fuck you. Of course I’m bothered. Why wouldn’t I be pissed that they had to protect Max and not me? We just won the Cup, Tater. I wanted a second chance at it, and they just fucked it all up for me. For you too.” 

“Not really worried about Cup,” Alexei said. 

“Yeah, I know. I’m trying not to think about the other things. You were right though. We’ll...we’ll make it work.” He shoulders hunched. “We have to.” 

Alexei nodded, he didn’t know what else to say. “Expected to retire there.” 

“I know you did. I’m fucking sorry.” 

Alexei looked over at him and laughed. “So bad at this.” 

“Yeah, well, fuck you too.” 

“Maybe later,” Alexei said. “Maybe we stay in Vegas few days?” He chewed on his lip, and couldn’t quite meet Jakub’s gaze. Maybe he was wrong about the whole situation. “If you want.” 

“If we can. I mean, realistically we should probably go and get things set up. We have to get apartments, and settle up things in Providence. It’s a lot, Tater.” Snowy looked out the window, away from Alexei. “Maybe it’s better if we just concentrate on that now.” 

That hurt him to the core. It was impossible not to cringe away. “Oh. So...” 

“Don’t get that look on your face,” Snowy hissed. “I don’t want to break up with you. I just think we should get things settled, and see where we are from there.” 

Alexei felt brittle. “If what you want.” 

“It’s not what I fucking want,” Snowy said. “None of this is what I fucking want, but it’s what we have, and we are going to have to learn to deal with it.” He took in a sharp breath. “I’m sorry. I just...it’s a lot.” He looked out the window for the rest of the flight, and was uncharacteristically quiet when they landed. 

Alexei went up to his hotel room alone, and crawled under the covers. He had hoped they they would be spending it together, but Snowy made an excuse to turn in as soon as he got to the hotel. 

Alexei had never felt this lonely in years. Not since he was a scared kid running away from Russia to play for the NHL. Not since he was thrown on a team with no other Russians, and barely a word of English in his vocabulary. 

He pulled out his phone, and flipped through the contacts. He thought about calling home, but it had been months since he had even talked to his mama. He settled on a familiar number. 

“Tater?” Marty’s voice crackled on the other end, his accent thicker from lack of sleep. “What’s wrong? Where are you? Do you need me to get you?” 

“No, I’m in Vegas. They picked me up on the draft. Not supposed to tell anyone yet. I don’t want to go. Snowy too, and he just said give it time, and I’m just scared. I’m not know these people. They aren’t family.” 

“Oh, Tater.”

He wiped at his face. “Am sorry, Marty. Shouldn’t have woke you up.” 

“Tater. You are family. I don’t care what team we are on. You are my rookie, and you will always be.” 

“I don’t want to go.” 

“I know, but sometimes this is part of the game. Sometimes teammates leave. It’s the part we all love least about it.” He listened to Tater cry, and made soothing voices like he always had. 

“I’m scared.” 

“I think that is normal. I’d hug you if I was there. We can come up if you want. Gabby would do this for you in a heartbeat. You know that, right,” Marty said. 

“No, is fine. Promise. Is fine.” 

“You are a horrible liar,” Marty said on the other side of the line. “I’ve known you for six years, Tater tot. You lived with me for four. I know you, bud. _Merdi_ though. I’m so sorry it turned out this way.” 

“I’m sorry, too,” Alexei said. “Sorriest, Marty.” 

“Oh, Tater Tot. It’s going to be fine. They will love you as much as we do.” 

Did. Tater thought. And he was not even really sure of that.

_/ _X_ \\_

The Draft was as nerve wracking as Tater remembered. They had given him one of the racer jerseys. It was odd being in red and white, and not the Falconer’s blue. He smiled at the crowd, waving as he presented jersey to the Racer’s first round pick, along with the other team officials. They had picked up four along the way, along with second overall. Aaretti Kaalinpää, the second overall, had accepted his jersey with a smile that only could be considered shy.

The seventh overall was Jahvetti Saari. The kid squealed as he came up on the stage. “Oh, Alexei Mashkov! Is very good to meet you.” he whispered. He was fresh-faced, blonde and made Alexei feel so old. The kid pulled on the jersey, and posed with them before they headed backstage. 

The other kid was waiting back there, and nearly tackled Alexei when they got back stage. Aaretti Kaalinpää was just as pale as Jahvetti, and twice as good at doing an impression of an octopus. He was all lanky limbed, and nearly as tall as Alexei. They chattered in Finnish together when they all found a seat in the lounge. 

Alexei didn’t even know what to say to them. He wondered if he had ever been that young, because it didn’t seem so. 

“I have a feeling it is going to be a good season,” Mike Standish, the owner of the Racers said. He elbowed Alexei as he took a seat beside him. He was one of the few players that had made it. The rest had already gone back to the audience. Snowy was out there. Alexei had spotted him nearly immediately, as well as Jack. “We are really glad to have you Mashkov. You are going to be a real asset to the team.” 

Alexei made himself smile, and hoped that it did not look as ill as he felt. “I’m glad you think so.” He didn’t really think so at all. 

That earned him a pat on the back. “Good to hear it. Very glad to hear it.”

More people were added to the team, but Alexei couldn't really find it in him to care. He still smiled at the kids as he handed over their jerseys. They did not deserve him spoiling their day.

They were all so young, and Alexei wondered if he had ever been that bright eyed. They picked the 19th and 24th overall, Jack Bancroft (A round cheeked Canadian boy) and Braxton Taylor (from England). He hoped they made it onto the actual team. They seemed like good kids.

The first day ended and left Alexei feeling wrung out. 

“Gonna make it through tomorrow?” Jack asked when he caught up with Alexei in the hallway while they were filing out. 

“Probably not.” They walked down the corridor towards the exit, hemmed in by the crowd. 

“You holding up okay?” Jack tried again. “Want to get a bite to eat?” 

Alexei almost refused. “I’m not mind, Captain.”

“Good. Ah---I’m really sorry about all of this happening.” Jack had an Uber waiting for them, which was a relief. Alexei couldn’t handle the crowds any longer. They ended up going to a little italian restaurant off of the strip. It was a hole-in-the-wall, and some of the best spaghetti that Alexei had ever had. 

“How you find?” Alexei asked as they were eating. 

Jack only shrugged and gave him a little smile. “Bits is pretty damn good at finding good places to eat.” 

Alexei tucked into the food. “Not surprised.” 

“Yeah, Tater, I’m not really either. You doing okay?” 

Alexei shrugged his shoulders and stared down at the spaghetti. “Is fine. I’m fine.” 

“You are such a bad liar.” 

“I’m scared. That you want to hear? Terrified, Zimmboni. Is worst thing. Take me away from my family. From person I love. I’m have nothing but hockey there. Is what you want me to say? What you wanting to hear?” He clenched his hands under the table. The sting was a welcome enough wake-up. “What you want me to say?” 

“I don't know, Tater,” Jack breathed in and out slowly. “I honestly don’t. I’m sorry this happened.” 

“Is not your fault. Is not my fault. Is what it is.”

_/ _X_ \\_

Alexei went to Indianapolis after the draft. He was supposed to be looking for an apartment, but he spent most of his time moping, and sleeping in the hotel room. He was tempted to call his parents, but he had not sank quite that far. He wasn’t even sure if they would pick up.

He had not felt so alone in years. He wallowed in it, not answering Snowy’s calls, or even Marty’s. The first time they had called and he didn’t answer he had been asleep, and then, later, he had watched the picture of Snowy come up and he just couldn’t do it. Not after their talk, and not after Snowy said he wanted to take a break. It made him cringe inside. Snowy had said he didn’t want to break up, but Alexei knew it was exactly that. He didn’t stop calling though, and he didn’t stop leaving voicemails. Alexei never checked any of them. He let his voicemail get full. He couldn’t take it, so he ignored it all. He only checked the emails and texts sent from the team. He went to the events they asked, but didn’t do any more than he had to. 

It was nearly impossible to paste a smile on his face after a while, and he considered leaving town. He even considered going back to Russia, but he was with it enough to know how bad of an idea that would have been. 

He burrowed under the covers, wrapping them around him like an enchilada and marathoned Community (tried not to cry too much), only making himself slink out of bed to get food (chocolate ice cream), and do his morning run. He hated running, more so with how unbearably humid the place was in mid July. 

Nearly two weeks passed that way until he was startled out of his mid day nap by a loud rap on the door. He considered not answering it, but he unwrapped the blanket and stumbled across the room. He swung the door open and froze. 

“What you doing here?” His voice was rough even to his own ears. 

“ _Merdi_ , you look like death warmed over,” Marty said. He pushed his way into the room, followed by Gabby and George’s wife, Petra. Petra had always been one of Tater’s favourite people since he came to Providence (aside from Marty and Snowy). She didn’t look amused with him at the moment. She made a tsking noise as she looked around the hotel room.

“What you do here? Should be looking for apartment.” She wrinkled her nose. “You not shower for days?” 

“Clearly not,” Gabby said. “Go get cleaned up, Alexei. We have a list of apartments and houses to look through.” She used her ‘mom’ voice which made it that much worse.

“Why you here?” Alexei shook. They weren’t supposed to be here. 

“You weren’t answering your phone, bud,” Marty said. “We were worried.” 

“Am not team anymore,” Alexei spit out. “Go home.” 

“You stop,” Petra waved a finger at him. She shouldn’t have been intimidating. She weighed all of a hundred pounds soaking wet. Georgia had met her at the winter Olympics in ‘05, and it had been love at first sight. Alexei had always thought it so romantic, how much they loved each other. He wished he could have that, but Snowy was hundreds of miles away, and didn’t seem to want that at all. 

“You stop right now,” Petra yelled. “Is not very nice, Tater. Is not very funny. We all care about you. Worry about you, and you mope like child. Is not to be tolerated. You understand me?” 

“I’m not moping,” Alexei plopped down on the edge of the bed. “Rude.” He bristled. “So rude. Not even on team anymore.” He deflated as the words left his mouth. 

“Are you going to let us help you, Tater Tot?” Marty asked. 

“You don’t have to,” he said. 

“No, we really don’t,” Marty agreed. “But we want to.” 

“Oh.” 

“Now, go take shower,” Petra demanded. “We have appointment. Lots of apartments to look at. Go now.” 

Marty snickered as Alexei scurried off the bed and to the bathroom. He took the quickest shower of his life, and hurriedly picked out clothes to wear. It was quiet enough that he wondered, for a moment, if he had imagined that they had showed up, but they were all waiting for him when he stepped back out of the tiny bathroom. 

Petra was serious about looking at apartments. They were all, surprisingly, within walking distance to the arena. They looked at several along the canal, which Alexei actually liked. It looked like a good place to go running, much better than the paths near the hotel he had been staying in. They looked at a couple directly downtown, and near Lockerbie Square. They finally settled on Lockerbie Court which was one of the farthest away from Eli Lily Arena, but it was still only a few blocks. It was closer to the arena than any of the places he had lived in Providence had been, and it was near the Arts corridor. Alexei likes the old brick buildings, even if they were only what Americans considered old. They were beautiful. It made him homesick to look at them, and he didn’t even know what he missed more; Providence or Russia. 

“You want me to set up mover to get your furniture?” Petra asked when they got back to the hotel after all of the papers were signed. 

Alexei pulled a face. “I’m not selling my house in Providence. Maybe I move there when I retire. I buy new stuff for here.”

“You are so difficult. So stubborn,” Petra groused. 

“Leave him alone,” Marty said. “We’ll just go furniture shopping. It’s not like we had any pressing plans or were in a hurry to go home. Right?” He looked to Gabby who only nodded, and hugged Alexei. 

“Exactly right. Cheer up, Ma petite pomme de terre.” Gabby patted his cheek. “This will all be fine.” 

Alexei was not convinced. The thought of playing with these other people left him feeling sick at the pit of his stomach. “Maybe I’m retire early. Solve everything.” 

“Alexei Vladimirovich Mashkov, you stop this talk now. You see me retire when I fall and injure myself at nationals? Нет.” Petra glared at him. “Horrible boy.” 

“Maybe,” he agreed. “Possibly. Maybe fucked things up with Snowy too.”

Marty squinted at him. “Tater?” 

Alexei sat down heavily on the bed. His knees felt wobbly. “He said, maybe we take a break. So. I. Stopped answering his calls.” 

“Tater Tot,” Marty sat down beside him. “Call Snowy. He will understand.” 

“He said---”

“Yes, I know what he said. I also know he loves you a lot. The boy is not good with feelings, Tater, and you are one of the few people that he will open up to. Just call him, okay?” Marty said. He put his arm around Alexei, hugging him. 

“Call him, and rest,” Marty said more gently. “We’ll be back in the morning. Gabby said she found a good place down town. We will walk around and maybe look for furniture for you, yes?” 

He nodded after a moment. “Fine. Is fine, Marty. I see you tomorrow.” 

“Call him.” 

“Fine,” he said. “I will. I’m promise.” He watched Marty go, shoulders hunching. He stared at his phone long after Marty left. He picked it up and flicked through the gallery. He hadn’t had the heart to erase any of the pictures. At least seventy percent were of Snowy (and the other thirty percent various cute animals that Alexei had barely resisted taking home with him).

He didn’t even know what he was going to say. He dialed Snowy’s number, his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

“Tater?” 

“Snowy.” 

“What the fuck. I was beginning to think they had killed you or something.” 

“No. I’m fine. Was just giving you space. You said that---” 

Snowy breathed heavily on the other side of the line. “Since when have you ever fucking listened to me? Skarbenku, you idiot. You know I’m bad at this.” 

“You said---” 

“That I needed space. Yes. I know. I don’t. I miss you, Tater. I needed you. It’s been fucking horrible,” Jakub’s voice cracked at the end. “I really need you right now.” Alexei had never heard him sound so small or lost. Snowy was one of the most confident people he knew. 

“I’m need you too, Kochanie. Very, very much. M-maybe I’m fly out to see you?” 

“No. I’ll fly out to you. Probably don’t even have an apartment yet, do you?” Snowy teased, almost sounding like himself. 

“I’m have apartment. Marty came here. Made me get out of bed and we went apartment hunting.” 

“Just Marty?” 

Alexei pulled the covers around himself, making a cocoon. “No, not just Marty. Petra, and Gabby too. Going furniture shopping tomorrow. Will be horrible, Kuba.” 

“Sounds like it, Kochanie. I’ll book a flight, tonight, and email you the flight information. I just have to settle up a few things,” Jakub said. 

“You sure?” 

“I’m very sure, Lyoshenka. Positive in fact. Take a nap, and I will see you in a few hours.” He took a deep breath. “And I think we should talk when I get there. A-about serious things. Us, and...you know. I guess the future.” 

“I’ll see you in a few hours,” Alexei said. “I’m love you, Jakub.” 

“I love you too, Alexei.”

_/ _X_ \\_

Three hours later there was a knock on the door. Alexei dragged himself out of bed, and stumbled towards the door. He opened it and suddenly had an armful of Jakub Snopek. He pulled him close, and Snowy hid his face against his neck.

“I thought you hated me. That you were never going to talk to me again, because of what I said. I wanted to take it back, but you---you wouldn't even talk to me,” Snowy babbled. He clung to Alexei even when he moved away enough to close the door behind him. Alexei had never heard him sound that vulnerable; it broke something in him. 

“Shhhh...could never hate you, Kuba. Love you most.” 

“I needed you, too. I know I-I’m bad at this. I’m bad about t-talking about this shit, but I needed you.” Snowy clung more tightly. “I’m sorry I said that shit. I never should have. I’m so, so, so sorry.” 

“It’s okay, baby. You're here now. Is okay.” 

“You are the worst,” Snowy said, still doing a good impression of a limpet. “Don’t call me that ever again.” 

Alexei pulled him towards the bed. They curled up together. “Can’t promise that, Kuba.” He watched Jakub cautiously. “You wanted to talk? Come long way to talk, Snowy.”

Jakub watched Alexei stretched out on his side. “I wanted to see you.” He worried at his lower lip. “Had a lot of time to think about things. I should have stayed with you in Vegas. I was stupid.”

“No. Maybe I’m ask too much of you. Is lot. Lot to expect. Long distance is hard.” 

Snowy rolled his eyes. “Didn’t fly all they way out here to break up with your ass.” He stretched out, then wiggled closer until he could wrap his arms around Alexei. He tucked himself against him. “I want to try.” He hid his face against Alexei’s chest. “I just want to try. You’re it for me, Lyoshka. You’ve always been it, and the thought of losing you terrifies me.” 

Alexei held onto him, smoothing back Jakub’s hair. “Is not worry. I’m not go anywhere, Kuba. Always be here for you.” He gave a little laugh, “And you say you not good at emotions.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Lyosha. It’s not funny.” 

“Mmm...no. Not funny at all. Maybe little ironic. Little bit.” 

“Just shut up. I’m going to stay here the rest of the summer. We’ll go with Marty in the morning, and pick out furniture. I guess. If it’s okay,” Snowy mumbled. 

“We talk more in the morning?” Alexei asked. 

“Sure,” Snowy said. It wasn’t long before he was a dead weight in Alexei’s arms. 

Alexei didn’t fall asleep for a long time. He held Jakub close, listened to his slow breaths, afraid that he was going to be gone again when Alexei woke. 

He was still there in the morning, bright eyed at too early of an hour. “I got us breakfast.” 

“Is too early, Kuba. Tired. Let me sleep,” Alexei whined. 

“You said we could talk some more,” Jakub shifted nervously. “We need to figure things out.” 

“Is no rush,” Alexei said. He leaned against the headboard, and took a doughnut from the box that Jakub offered.

“We have time,” Alexei said again. “All the time.” 

“Doesn’t feel like it,” Snowy grunted.

“I’m not want to pressure you.” 

“What the fuck, Lyoshka. What the fuck. We’ve been dating three years. Maybe it’s time we got a little serious and fuck I want the pressure. You don’t fucking understand how miserable it was. I thought you hated me.” Jakub plopped down on the bed, looking wrung out. “I meant what I said. You’re it for me. You always have been. I just want something with you. I guess I will take what I can get though.” 

Alexei ate the pastry slowly and watched Snowy. “You most confusing, Jakub.” 

“I’m not trying to be. Fuck, Tater. I’m not the one that ghosted for weeks.” 

Alexei ducked his head. He couldn't deny that. “Okay. We try. Won’t argue when you beg so pretty.” 

“God, you are such an ass? Why do I love you?” 

Alexei’s lips curled into a smile, and he pulled Snowy into a sticky kiss that tasted like sugar frosting and doughnuts.

_/ _X_ \\_

They fell back asleep, and were woken back up around ten when Marty was pounding on the door. He didn’t even look surprised at the sight of Snowy looking as rumpled as if he had slept in his clothes for a week, Alexei did not look much better.

“Come on boys. Time to go,” Marty herded them to the SUV they had rented. 

“Is good you join us, Snopek,” Petra snipped when they climbed inside. “Good you come to senses.” 

Gabby leaned out of the front seat. “Oh, don’t listen to her. It is good to see you, Jakub. How was your flight?” 

“Rough, honestly.” 

She patted his arm sympathetically. “Well, we are glad you are here.” 

Jakub gave her a rueful smile. “I’m glad to be here.” He grabbed Alexei’s hand once they were settled in the SUV. Alexei squeezed it tightly. 

The whole trip was more bearable with Jakub bumping shoulders with him as they walked through the store picking out furniture. In the end it was more Petra and Gabby picking out furniture than anything else, and Marty pointing out things that he might need. Alexei couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He had not felt in this good of spirits since George had called him. 

“It’s going to be fine,” Marty said. “We’re going to stay until we get you settled in.” They had returned to the apartment to wait for some of the deliveries. 

“You don’t have to. I’m be fine,” Alexei protested.

Marty rolled his eyes. “Please tell me another.” 

“Marty has point,” Petra said. “We get apartment fixed up. Maybe meet some of these new kids on team.” 

“You not stay until camp,” Alexei wrinkled his nose. “Is fine, Snowy staying the rest of the summer. Will be fine.” 

“Oh? He will?” Petra asked. “Maybe I’m stay and play chaperone then.” 

“So funny,” Alexei said. “Go home, Petra. George misses you.” 

She laughed and rolled her eyes. “I’m stay. That’s it. Nice guest room just for me.” 

Jakub wrinkled his nose. “Please tell me you're joking?” 

Petra just smiled in that creepy way of hers that unnerved ninety percent of the people that saw it, and yet seemed to charm the pants right off of George. 

Alexei put it all out of his mind as the delivery people arrived shortly after. They got his bedroom set up, and the living room more or less put together. 

They got his internet hooked up, and a new flat-screen set up in the living-room. It was far from home, but it was miles better than the hotel room he had been staying in. 

They ended up deciding to crash there for the night after they had gone back to the hotel rooms to turn in their keys and collect their bags. 

“Not bad for a day's work,” Marty said. He pat Tater on the back. 

“Not bad,” Alexei agreed. “Not bad at all.” 

“You really are family,” Marty said and he slung an arm around Tater’s shoulder. “Doesn’t mean I won’t kick your ass during the season though.” 

“Lies. I’m mop the floor with you,” Tater said cheerily back. He smiled (a real smile) back at Marty. 

“Just remember, okay.” 

“Okay,” Tater said. “Always your rookie.” 

“Always,” Marty agreed. 

Tater was sad when they left a few days later, but it wasn’t the depression that he had felt before they had arrived. He felt settled. There was still something that lingered, a fear of the changes that were still to come.

_/ _X_ \\_

Alexei was still worried about the new team, and mourned the old, but it seemed a little easier to take when he crawled in bed that night and hugged Snowy against him. They kissed slowly, and with intent.

“You know it’s going to be okay,” Jakub said later that night. His skin was damp with sweat; their legs tangled together. “Promise.” 

Alexei pulled him close. Jakub was warm in his arms. “Maybe. Maybe you leave and I fall apart again.”

“You won’t. You are tougher than you look,” he said. He kissed Alexei softly. “Don’t worry, you aren’t getting rid of me so easily.” 

He didn’t either, the summer stretched out before them, and Snowy stayed until he had to leave for his own training camp in September. 

He had hugged Snowy tightly in the car before he had dropped him off at the airport. He clung to him. “Always miss you,” he said. 

Snowy had smiled, and kissed him back. “They are going to love you, Tater Tot.” 

“Maybe,” Alexei hedged. “We see.” He took a breath, and nodded to himself. “Maybe I’m just have a bigger family now,” he said, thinking about the team.

“If they don’t like you, they are fools,” Snowy said as he kissed him one last time before he headed out. 

Alexei watched him go, and felt something unwind inside of him. It was going to work out one way or another.

**Author's Note:**

> A.N.-  
> Thanks to:  
> Secretgeniusshittyknight <\---for providing Snowy with a name.  
> Iloveyoutoobits and vicioushyperbolizer for all of the beta’ing help you provided. <3
> 
>  
> 
> Come reblog this work and view others from this fest [HERE](https://omgcpheartbreakfest.tumblr.com/) on the omgcpheartbreakfest tumblr page!


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